Finding My Words
Posted on April 12, 2024
Ever get the feeling you’re in the wrong place?
I turned to look… again. I kept having the same unsettling thought and this eerie sense of being followed.
I grew up a “middle” child. That’s right. Not as important as the oldest, but not adored unconditionally, like the youngest. I felt totally unappreciated. To combat my shortcomings, I kept trying to be “better” at everything so someone would notice me. My parents wanted to encourage me with art classes, photography, garden design, being more independent, but I just didn’t feel like I fit in and became increasingly more introverted, quiet, and shy.
Fast forward to raising my family. It’s the most incredible job I’ll ever have. However, when I hit good old middle age, the kids grew up and moved out, and some serious family drama was added to the mix… I got to thinking. Family had always been the most important thing, but for reasons unknown, I was now unsure of my strength, mindset, and relationships. Once again, I was in the middle, questioning where I belong. That eerie feeling was still there, but I was now overthinking, afraid, and wondering why I always seemed to be in the wrong place.
Then Dad passed away. The morning I heard his voice was something I’ll never forget. “Remember how much you loved reading, telling stories, and excelled in your English classes at school? When your creativity blossomed and your love for beauty enabled you to design beautiful gardens and paint lovely pieces of artwork? And the courage you had to step up to any challenge?” It took a moment for it to sink in. He understood me like no one else, and I believe he had remained with me, patiently waiting, sensing my fears of not always being heard or appreciated, and choosing the perfect moment to encourage me to find my way.
After giving it a lot of thought, I took the first step… I signed up for an editing and proofreading course.
It was like leaving a dark tunnel and emerging into sunshine. The proofreading lessons felt fluid and easy, and the editing challenged me. I was becoming a brighter, sharper, more confident version of myself. Now, the opportunity to start a proofreading and editing business stretched out before me, and I was ready.
You’re thinking, it’s not that easy to just change direction in life whenever you feel like it. But I can say truly… if something doesn’t feel right, and it’s telling you to turn around or make a choice… do it! It may not be easy or happen overnight. But I believe there’s a reason we’re offered choices. My father always said, “Only time will tell.” I never knew what that meant until now.
I didn’t have that eerie feeling because I was in the wrong place… the time had come for me to turn around and realize that I was being offered a choice, waiting to guide me to where I was meant to go.
Hugs,
Susan
Susan will be the first to admit… she’s a nerd.
Whether tending to her garden, fearlessly experimenting with flavors in the kitchen, or putting the first brush to a blank canvas, she’s constantly immersed in creative/nerdy pursuits.
When an opportunity to leave her 9 to 5 arrived, she didn’t hesitate to chase her dream of working with words. Her goal was to become an editor and motivate writers to share their stories with the world. Ironically, it was in the world of words and children’s literature where her creative spirit truly blossomed. Drawing from the memories of her grandparents’ farm and the barn she grew up in, her stories for young readers beautifully incorporate themes of family, farm life, kindness, caring, friendship, and acceptance.
She and her hubby live on a small farm in Princeton, Illinois. Her kids have grown and moved out, but over the years, she’s been caretaker to a flock of escape-artist chickens, her daughter’s lovely saddlebred horse, and a cantankerous goose that became the star of her children’s stories.
Find more about her and her books at www.finelineproofs.com
